The Societal Pressures of being a MAN in Jamaica

By: Kmar Henry

Edited By: Xavier Campbell│Reinard Bryan│Anthonio James

Date: August 17, 2017



Let's take a trip into the intricacies that we as the male gender are forced to accept from birth as norms. We all know some of them right? “No crying Johnny you're a man!” Or 'Jimmy if she leaves you nuh bawl my yute remember man a gangsta!” Or let’s even consider the perspective of the man as the breadwinner and the stereotypes that accompany this notion “Delroy remember you have to be the head of the household, and if that means you have to be broke every month, while your wife spends money on a new hairdo and buy expensive clothes, while you save nothing, you just have to.” It is an intriguing thought that as males we are left on the forefront to bear the burden of responsibility and societal pressures, which were passed down from our ancestors for generations. Hence, we are heavily and unfairly scrutinized if we are unable to put food on the table or on the emotional stand point; if we spill a tear because we loved that girl named Shirley so much.

History, Norms and Society

Let's flash back to the last part of the year 2015 leading into 2016, when we saw an upsurge in

the brutal murders of females by their male counterparts. Have we ever taken the time out to question, if communication was effectively flowing, in those times when the men started to think about these acts? Or is there a problem with how these men were brought up, to think that they are the only persons in the world that are facing these problems? In actuality, our youth are too busy accepting these societal norms, 'No my yute yuh saaf wah kinda bun yuh a tek...yaah idiot?', Even if yuh a gi har bun she fi tek that cause u a man! Hmmm.....

It may sound rather cliché but our history of slavery does play a significant role in the mindset which governs family structure and roles. During slavery, the role of the man was to reproduce and bring forth more slaves for their owners; so a man was basically forced to have sex with many women on the plantation impregnating as many as he possibly could. If he was a ‘prize bull’ he would be rented to other owners in order to impregnate women on another plantation. As a consequence, it became challenging for the man to play a true patriarchal role as he was the sperm donor of many children but father to none. This in and of itself resulted in a matriarchal y dominant family structure where children were raised by their mothers, grandmothers, aunts and big sisters. This structure has survived generations and is still the more frequently observed family situation in Jamaica, albeit with a modern touch.

The problem lies when we contrast our historically ties with what is expected from a societal standpoint. The idea that the man should sit at the head of the family table is essentially universal, it is understood as a cultural norm, one that is rooted in history. In Jamaica, that father and son relationship barely exists and it is institutionalized in a manner that suggests that a father’s main role is to ensure that support is given monetarily. If, this is not achieved then you should be prepared to be chastised by your once beloved baby mother for being worthless or good for nothing. However, sitting at the head of the family table doesn’t necessarily mean that your only role is to ensure that food is on this table, rather the table should be a setting for communication, advice, guidance and knowledge sharing; if you sit at the head of the table you must also be prepared to bare all these responsibilities. But because the ill-conceived conception focuses on monetary support, we find situations where even if you ensure that you pour every ounce of emotional and spiritual support and guidance to that child, if this isn’t backed up by considerable financial support then you are basically a wukliss baby daddy. So this leads to fathers not being fully involved or making them unable to spend necessary time with young boys growing up to deter their minds from being absorbed by the fallacies that our society has perpetuated as the criteria for becoming another ‘Man'. Furthermore, we are then led by our egos and friends who seem tough enough to replace that father figure, not knowing that they themselves are in need of someone to guide them as well. Thus, it is at this point that we are left rationally and emotionally unbalanced, the need for female companionship is rather essential at this moment but for the wrong reasons. We were raised to think that it's not OK to share your relationship problems with a friend, or ask for advice within times of financial uncertainty. These things subject your masculinity to criticism or even more so characterized as a weak man. So we are often left to lean on our own shoulders, to guard our egos and to protect our foolish pride.

The Problem?

Male marginalization is a reality; the aforementioned family structure has played a role in the marginalization of men and the elevation of women. It is no secret that our girls are vastly outpacing our boys in academia, the male to female ratio in our tertiary institutions has more than tripled. It should therefore not be a surprise that Jamaica is considered among the top five (5) best work environments for women and top three (3) for female managers in both private and public sectors. Let’s face it, if this was a competition women would be winning like Bolt in a 100 m sprint… With EASE!  The truth is women cannot be blamed for their elevation no more than men can be for their marginalization. The question is now really why? It all boils down to roles and what we as a society consider to be the norm. In all honesty and this is no excuse, given our current situation it is full time we accept that we live in a matriarchal society. If we accept that a woman can now sit at the head of the family table then there would be less pressure on men who are unable to adequately full fill their financial obligations; without the stigma of being a cruff or wukliss man. This of course will not happen overnight as so many young men have already been indoctrinated into an outdated belief.

Additionally, if we are able to adopt this new approach males will not banish themselves from their children or have their children hidden from time in the times when they are unable to provide monetary support, therefore more time can be taken by fathers to ensure that our young men are taught that it's OK to talk about their problems or to simply ask for help rather than trying to internalize everything which often times creates a breeding ground for uncontrollable anger. These things don't make you lesser of a man, but make you entirely humane. The weak are the ones that don't ask for help but seek to face every bit of problem on their own, because of ego-centrism. We must establish firmly that its OK for our young men to look forward to creating a family, and not be too fascinated by the emphasis placed on womanizing or what we call being a 'Gyalis’. Our boys should be taught to understand the importance of being a dad, it's not just offering financial support, but to also ensure that children are guided and supported emotionally to make substantial decisions throughout their journey of becoming adults and then be able to pass on these values to their offspring’s. We should ensure that they acknowledge that there are repercussions that will occur if these variables of parenting are not met, as there is a huge difference between being a ‘Baby Faada’ as we call it in Jamaica, and being a parent. Grow our men to feel no pressure in accepting that if she makes more money it should not interfere with your self value and if she wants to help with the household bills it does not make you lesser of a man. Ensure that they are taught to not be afraid of talking about their fears and situation, even if they were emotionally and physically hurt; they are only human beings that possess feelings and senses to love and cherish. The conversation should be open for males to be free enough to talk about that one time that they were molested by their father, or raped by the female gender without fear of their identity being tarnished by society. Too many young men are left in the discomfort of being forced to think that they are alone with these troubled past events. That young boy should be allowed to speak openly on these matters if he has been sexually abused without being scared of the people in society.

The Solution

Let us remodel our social norms  once and for all, let us pay more attention to the gender that bears most of the pain of being chastised and rejected as bums in society. Let's ensure that we listen and communicate more to the issues being faced by our young men in both formal and informal situations, as such we will be better able to create a more realistic way of guiding them morally and emotionally. We should be far more aware of their well-being and associations which include their peers and relationships they choose, our advice within these times are pivotal to their development as men. Hence, we thus relish the fruits from our first step to recreating an ambiance in our society that harnesses openness and willingness for our young males to talk freely of their problems.



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